For most of us over the age of 22, St. Patrick's Day is a hairy pseudo-holiday. It starts out in grade school with pinching, clovers, and something about snake banishment, but by university it becomes a festival of bad (borderline insulting Lucky Charm-esque accents), green beer and rivers of excess, bad decisions, and vomit. But the true story of Saint Patrick is even hairier. Slavery. Abduction. Visions. Rampant illiteracy. The color blue. Here is our Gobsmack'd Greetings homage to St. Pat and his holiday. All on 100% PCW recycled paper.